I had to go into hospital
A specialist checkup you see
A young lady all the way to London
From her home in the West Country
Might take three days or more they said
Bring your clothes to stay overnight
Little did I know of the trouble to come
For a bed one had almost to fight
The trouble was due to hospital service
All topsy turvey were they
Wards over full and disorganisation
The management was where the blame lay
They put me in a ward with three old men
A merry crew they seemed
Very friendly and most gallant
As towards my bed they beamed
It was Sam the seaman who got too fresh
An octogenarian was he
Told many a tale of ventures great
On his journeys from sea to sea
He was not adverse to letting me know
Of his amourous side of things
And with wily looks he sat nearby
To show scars where he burnt his wings
Before very long with apparent boast
He carelessly revealed
His untidy and gaping underpants
What a man normally keeps sealed
I stared and sniggered in disbelief
At such a trampled king
He seemed to be so mightily proud
Of his poor old shrivelled and floppy thing
When will men ever learn
Whether young or old, stiff or nimble
That to woo a woman needs a deal more
Than the sight of their favourite symbol
Oh when to laugh at something silly
I recall the sight of the wrinkled willy
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